


Never Have We Ever

by Ass_Sass_and_Sin



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ass_Sass_and_Sin/pseuds/Ass_Sass_and_Sin
Summary: It’s the afterlife and Desmond and his ancestors are reminiscing about their exploits and adventures.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 106





	Never Have We Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea on the backburner for a while and thought it’d be a fun break from my NaNoWriMo project to celebrate hitting 10,000 Assassin’s Creed fics on Ao3! Hope you enjoy it!

“Never have I ever…” Altaïr thought for a moment, thinking about what he _hadn’t_ done. Even for an Assassin he’d lived a rather full life. He grinned and took a sip of his araq. “Never have I ever used an explosion to cover an escape.”

A chorus of groans erupted from the group as all but he and Desmond took a drink.

“You’re kidding, right?” Connor said over the top of his mug of beer.

“There’s no way he didn’t.”

Altaïr shook his head with a smile. “Bombs and artillery weren’t around much when I was alive. And I never had any need for them.”

“That’s cheating,” Edward complained. “You might as well have said you’ve never fired a pistol.”

“I was going to use that next round.”

“Except you can’t say that,” Ezio reminded him.

“I only fired it once,” Altaïr contested.

“Which means you _have_ done it.”

Altaïr shrugged and took another sip. “I’ll come up with something else then.”

“Alright, whose turn is it?”

“Mine,” Ezio said. “Never have I ever had a Templar in my immediate family.” He grinned at Connor and Edward who both groaned and each took a drink of their own.

“Fine, then never have I ever _flirted_ with a Templar,” Connor countered.

Altaïr sheepishly took a drink. “Maria wasn’t a Templar for long…” he muttered to himself.

“Ezio, you and Desmond both better drink, too.”

“What? Why me?”

“Um, Lucy?”

“Okay, but she was…” He tried to come up with an excuse, but the whiskey was making it hard to think...

“That’s what I thought.”

“Fine,” he relented. He took a drink.

“I never flirted with a Templar,” Ezio said, sounding almost offended at the accusation.

“Uh, things were definitely getting hot and heavy with you and Lucrezia that one time.”

“Oh that does not count! I was only _pretending_ to flirt to get those paintings back.”

“Doesn’t matter. You still did it.”

“Argh, fine.” He tipped his mug of wine and took several large drinks to forget it ever happened.

“Who’s next?”

Edward took a drink. “I am.” He gave them all a malicious grin. “Never have I ever held an Apple of Eden.”

“Unbelievable.”

“I will stab you."

“That’s horseshit.”

“ _Figlio di puttana_.”

Everyone but Edward took a drink.

“Alright, Desmond,” Altaïr slurred. “Your turn. Tell us, what have you not done?”

Desmond looked up as he thought for a moment. “Never have I ever been on a ship.”

“What?” Connor looked at him incredulously.

“There’s no way one of _my_ descendents hasn’t even been on a ship,” Edward said, looking a little disappointed in Desmond.

“I haven’t! Not that I know of, anyways.”

“ _Cazzo_ ,” Ezio cursed, taking another long gulp of wine. One more and he’d lose the game. Next to him, Connor sat and glared into his mug of beer. He, too, was only one point away from losing. It all came down to Altaïr.

“Never have I ever…” he paused, more for dramatics than anything else. “Never have I ever...been captured.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair either,” Edward groused, drinking a swig of rum anyways.

“And not true! What about with Talal?” 

“What about him?”

“You walked right into his trap.”

“That doesn’t count. I only let him _think_ he captured me. I had _him_ right where _I_ wanted him.”

“Semantics,” Connor argued.

“I agree.” Ezio nodded.

“Fine, never have I ever been captured for more than an hour. Better?”

Edward and Desmond, each resigned to the fact that he wouldn’t win this round, clinked their mug and glass and toasted to their eventual escapes.

“You all suck,” Connor said into his mug before upturning it and downing the rest of his beer.

“Another round?” Ezio offered.

“Fine,” Connor agreed. “But this time _I_ start….”

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for the different drinks came from fanart by Graphite Doll on Tumblr (though I think I switched Connor and Desmond).  
> https://graphitedoll.tumblr.com/post/110488788003/i-was-hosting-a-party-and-asked-some-friends-to


End file.
